LAST BLOG OR NOT

My overall health, from a physical standpoint has been getting noticeably worse. My legs are noticeably weaker, and things I was doing last week seem almost impossible to do now. I am falling down just about every day and I think that ground is getting harder all the time. just getting into the house through the garage in which I have done hundreds of times, which have handrails. It felt like my left leg hit a spinning wheel. Thank goodness my right arm is very strong, so I was able to hang on but because of the way I twisted my right forearm was pressed against the corner of a 4x4, and pretty much shredded my forearm. So I was hanging there for about five minutes whijle Sue was running around the neighborhood at 10 PM trying to find a neighbor that would help. When they finally got me up, I tried to manage the stairs again, but it felt like both my legs where paralyzed, and needed help getting into the house. Just walking around in the house is challenging, because both of my legs are wobbling. so I will be spending more time in the house in the wheelchair. My vision has been getting worse which makes it tough for entering data into the computer which I'm still doing at the office. Speaking of the office,it is still not sold.which has been a lot of stress and could be one of possible causes of my sudden turnaround in my physical health. I always said, that that office would kill me someday, because of all the time and effort I'm putting into it instead of resting and trying to get healthy .My voice is getting weaker so dictation is taking a lot longer because the computer can barely pickup my voice. A lot of this could possibly be caused by the tumor growing, but won't know anything until after the next MRI on July 8. I am not overly optimistic about the results of my next MRI, so I'm trying reverse psychology.

Remember that miracle pill, that I talked about in the last blog, it turned out to be a one-day miracle. Since that day it's been back to normal, so I tripled the dosage after consulting with the doctor and was told that it is a cumulative effect, so hopefully we'll see some results in the near future. When the urge hits and with my weakened legs it is a real adventure trying to get to the bathroom on time. Plus with all those IV liquids, and has really got the old kidneys working overtime.

Call this a premonition, I spent a lot of time thinking while sitting in my wheelchair near the bathroom door in the foyer, staring out the front door. A tree in our front yard, by the shape of the branches which formed almost a perfect picture frame and with the way the sunight was hitting the leaves,it looked like my dads face, who died about 10 years ago from cancer. I think he was looking for a golf buddy and above the picture of my dads face was a profile of my grndsons face. It was like my dad was ready to greet me into heaven but my grandson wants grandpa to stay. I am rooting for my grandson.

The difference existing and living is very bjg unfortunately for me I have been existing. Which means my life is based off of my bladder, which dictates where and when I can do things If I can getI my bladder under control and the sores on my left leg which been around forever and get my legs stronger, I may be able to get back to living.

So if the MRI has a good report then ignore every thing above and may have been to to being tired and stressed. in that case OR NOT.

POGO