Pogo's brain, diabolical or brilliant

Darwin had his theory on evolution. Sir Isaac Newton had his theory on a creamy fruit filling inside a cookie, or the less likely theory of gravity and motion. And like all great thinkers, and philosophers, Pogo has his theory on how a perfectly healthy individual, who never gets sick and has never missed a day of work in his life ends up with a grade four, malignant brain tumor. Boy, talk about the cerebral powers of the above three geniuses, or as some might say, two out of three of the above, but you'll have to guess which is the odd one out.

Let us set the stage. Pogo's lifestyle. "Full Speed Ahead Captain". Monday's through Thursdays were pretty much the same, I'd wake up around 6 AM, leave the house by 7 AM to head off to work and pretty much worked 10 hours straight at a fast pace with little or no breaks. From there, I would race off to some evening activity and usually get there just in time. I would then get home between 9 PM and 10 PM, grab something to eat and then go to bed. On weekends, I would catch up on the things that I didn't have time for during the week, but I had to occupy every minute of the day. I did not know the meaning of the word relaxation, it felt like I was wasting time. I think it's safe to say that my motor was constantly idling on high. Now since I never took time off from work, this was my life, week after week, month after month, year after year. The last one week vacation I had was between Christmas and New Year's of 1999. Does the term "rut" seem appropriate here. To me this was normal and as far as I was concerned this was the lifestyle I wanted.

Now my dental practice, or as I commonly call it, my prison, not because I don't like it there, or like what I do, it is just that I cannot afford to leave their since I've had some bad breaks in the past with previous landlords and investments that went bad, so I've never been financially secure. Plus I've always bent over backwards for my patients and a lot of times at my own expense. Translated, nice guys make lousy business decisions.

Based on the above, I saw no end in sight. It looked like I would lead this lifestyle for the rest of my life with no retirement. My ideal plan was to eventually bring in other doctors to work for me and I could semi-retire to work when I want. I was always envious of other doctors who had no cash flow problems and were able to take time off when they want to. For years, I've been consciously trying to figure out how to do this. My concerns were that the doctors that I would hire would not provide the same quality of care that I could, because I always wanted the best for my patients. I was also concerned about another mouth to feed. If I'm just getting by, how can I afford to pay another dentist. Among other things, there could be personality conflicts and numerous other things that my feeble little mind kept coming up with.

Obviously, with all the things going on above, there may have been a little bit of hidden stress. I know that my blood pressure was higher than it was supposed to be, and my back and neck muscles were always in a knot, but would I change what I was doing? Obviously not.

Okay folks, we are now closing in on the Pogo Theory. All of this time while I was consciously trying to figure out the above, my subconscious mind was hard at work developing a foolproof plan to get Pogo out of this dilemma. The subconscious mind started with some suttle little changes to see if it could get my attention. When I go back and think over the past 6 to 9 months I may have noticed some slight loss of strength or tactile sense in my hands but it was so minor that I paid no attention to it. Since I didn't catch on with this, the subconscious headed for the tennis courts. Let's hit him where it really hurts. Since early December, my tennis game was way off, but of course I just thought it was a little bit of a slump. So the subconscious tried again and decided to add some numbness to his left hand, but once again, Bozo, decided to call a hand specialist. It was time for the subconscious to make its bold move. Let's see if walking into walls and furniture finally gets his attention. Yes it did.

So the Pogo Theory is that my subconscious created the glioblastoma, which is a tumor that is supposed to have an unknown etiology. I'm sure there could have been some simpler ways to do this, but we needed something overly convincing to make sure that I could officially retire.The subconscious also took into account to affect the left hand only, so I could pretty much do what I want to do. And it also slowed down my legs a little bit just so I wouldn't overdo things. This will add more challenges to my life in the world of sports, which I look forward to, since everything has always come pretty easy. Between a right hand that works subconsciously and a left-hand that you have to consciously think about, plus to consciously think on how fast you can run before the legs give out, it should prove to be an interesting summer with all the sports that I plan on playing.

The subconscious also decided to go for the most aggressive and malignant type of brain tumor there was, because it knows that Pogo loves a challenge, so why dink around with some minor little sissy, benign tumor. It makes it all that much cooler when you defeat this minor inconvenience.

So did the subconscious plan work? I would have to give it a big yes. My blood pressure has dropped dramatically, and is in the normal range, bloodwork has been normal, and I no longer have tightness in my back or neck. I now have the free time that I've never had. In fact I had more free time in February than I had in the past 30 years. I found a wonderful, personable,and highly skilled dentist to work for me and I get the new experience of having the time to manage the practice which has been busier than ever. I'm never bored and I have time on my side to do new things. As an added bonus, I finally got to use my health insurance and disability insurance which I have paid for over the past 30 years without seeing any benefits. And by the way, I have no plans to use my life insurance for at least for another 50 years.

Boy that subconscious must have a lot of free time to come up with a plan like that.

POGO